Whoa, it's been awhile. The ups and downs!
The back story: The taco shop closed down on me and I took a desperate hitch-hiking trip to California, where I met the most wonderful people, punk rockers who like motorcycles and bones and don't just listen to metal. When I got back Johnny broke up with me for a day, but Christian mediated and we worked it out. We were so dead broke and beat, I think that was the problem; I don't think people who have never been that poor can understand how much money means to every part of your life when you don't have it. I got a job at a call center after a long wait; it started out full of promise and quickly deteriorated. Everyone was nice but the job itself caused me such stress that I started crying in front of my bosses one day. That was about a month ago; I took a few days off, then put my notice in when I came back. There is no point in working a job that makes you that miserable.
More people have died: Torch, Ian, I don't know who else since I last wrote. They're dropping like flies.
Right now I'm at my mom's house in Ohio; I'm enrolled to go back to UNM next month so this is the last lonesome chance to see all the people up here in the north eastern part of the country. After Xenia I'll be heading up to Cleveland and Rochester and Hoboken on the motorcycle to see people I haven't seen in years. Johnny is in Oklahoma right now and he'll be waiting for me when I get back to Albuquerque.
I feel uprooted and uncertain, I don't know what I want my future to look like and I don't know where I should be. I'm trying not to let those feelings unsettle me too much, but it's hard.
The back story: The taco shop closed down on me and I took a desperate hitch-hiking trip to California, where I met the most wonderful people, punk rockers who like motorcycles and bones and don't just listen to metal. When I got back Johnny broke up with me for a day, but Christian mediated and we worked it out. We were so dead broke and beat, I think that was the problem; I don't think people who have never been that poor can understand how much money means to every part of your life when you don't have it. I got a job at a call center after a long wait; it started out full of promise and quickly deteriorated. Everyone was nice but the job itself caused me such stress that I started crying in front of my bosses one day. That was about a month ago; I took a few days off, then put my notice in when I came back. There is no point in working a job that makes you that miserable.
More people have died: Torch, Ian, I don't know who else since I last wrote. They're dropping like flies.
Right now I'm at my mom's house in Ohio; I'm enrolled to go back to UNM next month so this is the last lonesome chance to see all the people up here in the north eastern part of the country. After Xenia I'll be heading up to Cleveland and Rochester and Hoboken on the motorcycle to see people I haven't seen in years. Johnny is in Oklahoma right now and he'll be waiting for me when I get back to Albuquerque.
I feel uprooted and uncertain, I don't know what I want my future to look like and I don't know where I should be. I'm trying not to let those feelings unsettle me too much, but it's hard.
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